如何避免托福写作常出现的5个问题

托福写作并不要求文采多么出众,它要求的是逻辑的清晰和基本词汇的熟练应用。在这里,我总结了一些同学们经常犯的错误,希望能给托福考生带来一些帮助。

常见的托福写作错误1:#句子过长

先来看两个例子:

 “I disagree that people spend too much time on leisure activities really people have a healthier work-life balance these days.”
“I disagree that people spend too much time on leisure activities. Really, people have a better work-life balance these days.”

同样的两句话,有标点符号的比没有标点符号的读起来更通顺,让人更容易理解句子所表达的意思。

常见的托福写作错误2:#段落过长

试想一下,如果是你拿到一篇段落很长的文章,是不是会没有耐心去读下去呢?所以,对于托福考试作文,要想既用形式掩饰内容的不足,又能给考官以好印象,那么请把task1段落划分控制在3-5段,task2控制在4-6段,既能体现段落分配清晰,突出自己要表达的内容,又能避免论证太过分散而中心不明确。

这里有一个从Good Luck TOEFL摘得的例子:

Question:

Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Partial Answer (first two paragraphs, written incorrectly as one run-on paragraph):
I think physical education should be included as part of the daily class roster at schools. Physical education is important to keep children strong and healthy so that they can focus on their studies. Moreover, physical education classes are a form of study in their own way. By exploring exercise and other health-promoting activities, schoolkids learn important facts about their own bodies and about health in general. You cannot learn without a healthy mind, and you cannot have a healthy mind without a healthy body. Gym classes are important because they promote learning by keeping students in good physical condition. If students don’t exercise every day, they can have too much energy, feeling tense and distracted. In the long run, children who don’t get exercise may become overweight and develop aches and pains from unhealthy living. All of this can lead to emotional and behavioral problems that hinder academic performance.
Partial Answer (revised to form multiple paragraphs with correct paragraph breaks):
I think physical education should be included as part of the daily class roster at schools. Physical education is important to keep children strong and healthy so that they can focus on their studies. Moreover, physical education classes are a form of study in their own way. By exploring exercise and other health-promoting activities, schoolkids learn important facts about their own bodies and about health in general.

You cannot learn without a healthy mind, and you cannot have a healthy mind without a healthy body. Gym classes are important because they promote learning by keeping students in good physical condition. If students don’t exercise every day, they can have too much energy, feeling tense and distracted. In the long run, children who don’t get exercise may become overweight and develop aches and pains from unhealthy living. All of this can lead to emotional and behavioral problems that hinder academic performance.

常见的托福写作错误3:#混淆相似的单词

大家都知道,在英文单词中,有很多单词长相相似,但是意思却完全不同,比如“Adversarial”不是“adverse” 和“adversary”,也不同于“advertise”。 “Quick” 不是“click”。 “opinion” 也不是 “opening”和“opinion”。然而,在托福考试中,还是会有许多考生因为太匆忙而混淆这样或那样相似的词汇。

例如:

A typical web scratch on Google may yell many more results than you really need, so you must review the resulting carefully.
And here’s the correction:
A typical web search on Google may yield many more results than you really need, so you must review the results carefully.

 

常见的托福写作错误4:#漏掉重要的细节

在托福写作中,组织结构是非常重要的,就像我们平时写中文的文章时也讲究首尾呼应。

很多学生在作文时因为时间不充裕无法写出总结段,或者是没有充分的论据去证明相应的论点,这样会给阅卷者没完成任务的感觉。小编在此提醒考生,不管是task1或者是task2,千万要给论点充分的论据。

下面是从托福综合写作中找到的没有论据不充分的一个例子:

First paragraph of the response (incorrectly omitting some corresponding key points from both the reading and the lecture):
In the reading passage, the author is very critical of Chevalier de Seignalt’s memoirs. The passage claims that de Seignalt lied about the amount of money he had and made a false claim that he escaped jail. In contrast, the lecturer says de Seignalt’s autobiography can be trusted, claiming he was truthful about his wealth and that he accurately recounted conversations he had with the famous thinker Voltaire.

修正后的版本涵盖了所需的三个关键细节:
First paragraph of the response (corrected so that all key points are included):

In the reading passage, the author is very critical of Chevalier de Seignalt’s memoirs. The passage claims that de Seignalt lied about the amount of money he had, incorrectly recalled his conversations with the philosopher Voltaire, and made a false claim that he escaped jail. In contrast, the lecturer says de Seignalt’s autobiography can be trusted, claiming he was honest about his wealth, accurate in his descriptions of the talks he had with Voltaire, and truthful when he described his jailbreak.

现在让我们来看一个来自托福写作的文章,它的观点缺少重要的依据:

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?: Modern life is easier than life in the past. Use specific details and examples to support your answer.

First paragraph of response (lacks some specific details to support the answer)
I don’t think modern life is easier than it was in the past. With greater efficiency of technology, we’re expected to work even harder and produce even more. In addition, we wake up earlier and must travel farther to get to work and school

上面这个段落非常的不完整,它没有提供任何证据去证明起床时间提前和花更多的时间去上班与现代生活有关系。

下面是修改过后的更完整的版本。

First paragraph of response (complete with specific details to support the answer)
I don’t think modern life is easier than it was in the past. With greater efficiency of technology, we’re expected to work even harder and produce even more. In addition, we wake up earlier due to another modern innovation: the alarm clock. Not only that, we’re also expected to travel farther for work and school. This is because the invention of the car has caused the layout of modern cities to become much more spread out.!

常见的托福写作错误# 5:拼音拼写错误

在托福写作中,学生可能会犯拼错科学术语这种严重的问题,如“grashum迁移”或“migasun。”或者是将 “river”拼为“liver”或“rivv”。

为了避免这个错误,你需要提前练习。听有字幕的英语演讲。

最后的思考:也许成为一个好作家最大的秘诀就是做一个成功的读者。所以多做托福阅读练习是理解和避免托福写作错误的一个好方法。

 

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